i am never using google checkout ever again. i signed up with them end of december. someone needed to give me $800 and kept writing me bad checks, so i signed up with a google checkout account so she can pay me online. i go thru a 2 day long bank account verification process, where i give my routing number, my account number, and they do a nominal deposit into my account to verify its existence. all of my profile and bank account info is verified as valid. the person owing me money pays me $400, and i get it 2 days later via a payout from google checkouts. the google checkout user interface needs some help, but at least i didn’t have to deal with another bad check from this person.

i received that payout on january 4th. on january 8th, the person gives me the rest of the money, another $400. i send her an invoice thru google checkout, she pays, the money is taken out of her account. based on how long it took last time, i know i’ll most likely have the money deposited into my account on the 10th.

on the 10th, i come into work and find this email from google checkout:

Hello unruly,

ID: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Account Creation Date: Dec 26, 2007
Merchant ID: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We are unable to verify the account information provided during the signup process. Although you may still accept and charge new orders at this time, you must provide some additional information before you can receive any future payouts. Please note that this account verification process is not related to the bank verification you completed during sign up.

Please photocopy/scan the following documents within five business days:

1. The front of the credit or debit card you used to sign up. For security purposes, please conceal the first 12 digits of your card number, leaving only the last 4 digits visible. (Note: If sending in a copy of an American Express card, please be sure to also conceal the 4-digit credit card verification number printed on the front. It generally appears to the right of the card number).
2. The front of your driver’s license. Please ensure it is a clear and legible copy.
3. Proof of address for each address entered in your Google Checkout merchant account. Acceptable forms of proof of address include the following:

-driver’s license with matching address
-bank statement
-credit card bill
-water, phone or other utility bill
-business license

4. The original supplier invoices/receipts for the following order(s)

Order # xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Order # xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The invoices must contain order details and your supplier’s phone number.

Write your merchant ID number at the top of these documents, and fax within five business days to (650) 887-1640, Attn: ‘Google Account Verification.’ While we recommend that you fax the documents, if you prefer, you may also reply to this email with the appropriate attachments. Please ensure that the copy of the driver license you send us is clear and legible. To avoid delays, we suggest that you adjust your fax or scanner’s resolution settings. You may also print a test page first to ensure the copy you send us is clear.

Failure to send any of the information listed in this email may result in a delay in payouts. We’ll contact you by email again once we’ve received and verified your information. If you have any additional questions, please feel free to respond to this message.

Sincerely,

Sean
The Google Checkout Team

seriously, read that email and tell me if you’re not thinking what i was thinking: you’ve GOT to be joking. now, if, in the signup process, they had clearly stated this was going to be a normal part of what i’d required to use google checkout, i NEVER would have used google checkout. i would’ve thanked them for their honesty but said: no thank you. in the entire signup process they described it as a very simple procedure, and all i ever needed to do was do that one-time bank account verification, then we were good to go.

so i email them telling them this, saying that they took money from a customer of mine and are holding that money hostage, basically, saying i need to go thru an involved process in which i drag out documents from my storage space and harass old housemates and then fax them (i can’t even remember the last time i’ve *seen* a fax machine, let alone *used* one)…. you’ve got to be kidding.

i get a reply back:

Hello unruly,

I understand you have questions about our verification process.

Our specialists will occasionally request that you verify the information
you’ve provided in your merchant account. Once you’ve completed the
verification process, you will have confirmed your financial identity and
increased the security of Google Checkout for everyone.

Rest assured that Google is committed to preserving the security of your
information, which will never be shared except under the very limited
circumstances described in our Privacy Policy at
https://checkout.google.com/files/privacy.html.

We take the following measures to protect you:

- Your account information is stored on our secure servers.
- Your information is encrypted during transmission with industry-standard
SSL (secure socket layer) technology.

In addition, phone support isn’t available for Google Checkout. Please
respond to this email with any further questions and we’ll be happy to
further assist you.

Sincerely,

Steve
The Google Checkout Team

they did not respond to my question about why, if this verification process was necessary to receive money that was rightfully mine, why wasn’t it mentioned in the signup process?
no comment whatsoever about why a company holding people’s money hostage refuses to have a customer service phone number.
no explanation as to why… i mean, this person’s email didn’t say anything. it basically just said we have your money, we refuse to explain, deal with it. here, jump thru these hoops, monkey.

i just lost a lot of respect for google, and once this mess is taken care of, i am definitely not using this service of theirs again, and i’m certainly gonna look closely at others of theirs now. i will not have a company treat me like this, especially when they’re holding my money hostage and refuse to apologize or explain.